Thursday
Jan162020

my poncho grew

One of the things I learned with going through my Mom's things is that if you are a maker you usually get those things you made or gave back!  I had worked on a hat for my Mom and gifted it to her a year or two ago.  It came with me. 

I thought it was a cool pattern and I documented my work here.  It did not really look like a crocheted hat.  It also did not wear like a crocheted hat.  I had been gifted yarn to make my own hat from that pattern but after wearing the one I made my Mom I decided that yarn needed a different purpose.  

So, I took apart the hat I made my Mom.  I found the skein of yarn for the hat I was to make.  I had also been gifted two small skeins of some lovely grey yarn.  I decided I was going to add it to the edge of the poncho I had made earlier this year.  Make it a better size to wear around the house.

I turned out well.  I used the single stitch I like, which is a single stitch and then a chain.  After the first row of single stitching with a change of color, I used a double stitch.  It gives it a bit of an eyelet feel.

My rocking chair and spinning wheel are right next to the air conditioning.  Or, it can be a drafty corner in winter because the chair is between two sets of windows.  It is now like having a blanket while I work.  I find normal blankets are great for my lower half but this keeps the top half warmer.  And there is room for a sweater underneath.  I do not lose it like I do shawls.  Though, I still really like shawls.

I would say this is a win.  There is going to be more bits and bobs of leftover yarn from other projects that may be of the same tones but I think this is the right size.  I will have to see if those become a shawl or a poncho.  I will just have to see.

 

Thursday
Jan092020

hooded scarf

This pile of crocheting that I was working on?

It became this hooded scarf for Koda Bear.  He seemed to really like it.  I just made an overly long scarf with a cables down one edge.  I did get it to him before the last day of Christmas!

I folded it in half and seamed it up the back of about 10 or 12 inches.  The crochet stretches a bit there so he has some movement.  I also used Lion Brands Mandala Bebe yarn so it changes throughout the cake.  It is acrylic which I do not really like to work with but for the boy, I thought it was a good idea.  

It was pretty chilly while we were in Washington and he wore it around the house.  I also realized that he stole Poppa's coat to model this in.  I guess that tells you a bit of how warm the house felt!  But I do think it felt warmer then normal during the winter.  It might just be because I was always moving.

I have not really worked on much crochet since I have been back.  I am almost done with a blanket that I wish to finish so I can work on one of the four sweaters I am making for myself!  Or the two shawls.  I also want to spin.  That has not happened this week.  I am building a table instead of working with textiles.

I am thinking about going on a camping trip this weekend.  Just over Monday basically.  If I do, I am taking crochet with me.  I will also chose to go thrifting.  Ideas for chef rolls abound but I find the ones that are more interesting are what seems to sell.  I also need to learn to wax cotton.  There are a lot of new skills to be learned this month.  Who knows what all will happen before I leave again for my Mom's memorial.  Which is one of the thoughts of not going camping.  What will be will be.

Tuesday
Jan072020

I am back for a bit

I am back for a bit.  My Mom's memorial is at the end of the month but it was good to be with my Dad for the week after her death.  I, the Tall Short Person, Koda Bear, and Blue were also there for my Dad's birthday which I think was a good thing.  Not that we did anything very special.

My siblings and I did an interesting style of overlap.  My sister and her family left the night I got in after she was there for my Mom's death and the days after.  My brother got in on the day after Christmas with his family so he could start helping with the arrangements.  Weather got in the way for him being there on Christmas.  I got there Saturday after and stayed until January 2.  I cleaned out things.

My Dad was ready for the house to feel more normal.  My Mom had not been sick long but there was medical gear and people since November in the house.  Hospice took the big stuff back and we found someone one who could use the unopened medical supplies.

It may seem fast for some people, but he did not wish to do her clothes.  He would have but becasue I was there I cleaned out two closets and two dressers full of clothes and shoes.  There were also two coat closets.  He asked me to basically go through every guest room drawer and shelf in the house.  Other family members had problems with the wrapping closet (also known as the Christmas closet) so I did not touch that.  They can.  My Mom had a whole walk in closet for wrapping presents.  It is where the Christmas tree is, broken down but not boxed.  The day I was getting ready to leave, he was pulling things he would never eat out of the kitchen cupboards so I helped there.  

I did go through every picture I could find in the house.  There is a want for a picture display/presentation at Mom's memorial.  My baby book got eaten by termites or destroyed in a hurricane.  Or both.  It was nice to see some of my baby pictures.  I was a very serious thing even when I was small.

If anyone asks me how I am, I am okay but I have also not had a chance to stop.  I am used to being in my parents house without my Mom around so it was almost like she was on a trip.  Or in their bedroom reading.  Or in her office working.  There is a lot of quiet in my parents house unless grandchildren and great grandchildren are around.  After driving back, there is just life to take care of here.

I am needing quiet.  But that is not my life currently.  I am considering doing more short camping trips.  Just because I can.  And I want to go to Santa Fe to see the Georgia O'Keefe museum.  I am to try to do that this spring but it will depend on how the sharpening business goes and how flexible it is.  There will be more traveling to see my Dad.  More phone calls.  There will be changes just because.  

Wednesday
Dec252019

to all, joy and peace

Merry Christmas.  I wish joy and peace to all.  And all the wishes of a new year filled with joy and peace.

I know I have not been in this space most of this month.  It has been mad.  I have been helping the boyos of Serenity Knives, trying to do my own work, taking care of small humans, and trying to be there for my Mom and Dad.

My Mom went into the hospital last week.  She was reacting badly to the chemo and decided to go into hospice care and come home.  She died Christmas Eve morning.

Both her and my Dad kept telling me not to come until after Christmas.  I abided to her wishes but talked to her everyday until she was not talking.  I was told she was peaceful and comfortable when she passed.

I will be traveling to see my Dad starting tomorrow.  With the small humans and the Tall Short Person.  Even though all I wish is quiet.  I could drive across country in quiet right now.  I will probably not be writing until the the new year.  Or, who knows.  I have missed this space.  I have just not figured out how to be here when life gets that mad!  But I may have figured out how to post from my phone.  

I keep getting asked how I am doing.  I am sad.  It comes in waves.  I do not seem to grieve in a way that is expected.  Expectations are due to society and family baggage.  I think we need to be okay with everyone grieves and celebrates differently.  But I find different is hard in our society.  Unique is hard.  I have been the black sheep for many years within my family, then not so much, then put back there during my Mom's short illness.  I kept telling my Mom I would do what she needed.  And wanted.  But she had to tell me.  She did.  That did not settle with other family members.  When did listening become such a bad choice?

Lots of babble and thoughts on this page.  Expect more as I watch people around me react.  I also have a harder time typing on my phone then the computer so please pardon any errors I do not catch.

Thursday
Dec052019

not sleeping

I have not been sleeping well.  The hours between 3 and 5 AM are the hardest for me to sleep currently and I do not know why.  I have a thought it is when my body is most uncomfortable in bed.  If I can shift it to 1 to 3 AM, I do feel more rested the next day.  Not today though.

Many times, when I wake I move to my rocking chair.  I pick up some crocheting and work on it until I feel like sleep may be a possibility.  Sleep may not happen but it does mean I have just not laid there for hours.  And work has gotten done.  This time of year it is normally a present.  Actually, that can be year round.

I keep thinking I should pick up some hand sewing but I am not sure I am that coordinated in the middle of the night.  A crochet hook is a much better option.  I have had to take out a few mistakes.  It is a bit frustrating but it is what it is.  

This gift is down to the last skein.  I will take a picture of it soon and then it will be sent off.  It is really not a Christmas present but it is a request from my Dad.  My Mom has her own chair now too.  I can see me being requested to make something similar for her.  It just takes time.